What the hell

Man, I sure wish I knew what the hell is wrong with me lately. Wait...before I go any further, let me clarify that I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND WOULD NOT TRADE THEM FOR ANYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE OR HISTORY.

Now, that being said...lately I am missing the hell out of my child-free days. I miss the luxury of waking up when I want to on the weekends. I miss being able to take a nap on Saturday afternoon. I miss being able to stay up until 5 a.m. because I can sleep most of the next day. And DAMN I miss my old body!!!

Ok, THAT part I'm working on. 100 lbs lost since Sofia was born and I'm pretty damned proud of that. But OY I have a long way to go. More weight to lose, and tons of toning. And I'm petrified I'm going to need surgery to get rid of the skin. She was so huge, my belly was SO stretched...I'm over 30...I just don't see it tightening back up on its own.

I realized today, I didn't appreciate my pre-baby body for the plus-sized beauty it had. There was a time I could have WORN this dammit:

And would have looked fucking hot, too. Even in my voluptuous body. Now, ugh. Age and childbirth have not been kind to me. I WANT THAT BACK. And I swear to God my hair has stopped growing altogether. It's not bad enough I lose it like made after I have a baby, now it's just at some sort of hideous growth plateau. I want my long, silky, wavy locks back, too. *sigh*

This can't last long, can it? Do most women go through this at some point while they're stuck in domesticland? I love my family, they're the best part of my life. But there's a ME in there that has no place in this life and she's been BEGGING to come out and play. I want to say yes! I've never been 100% content in this SAHM role and now it's really bugging me.

Ah fuck it. I'm rambling. Doesn't matter anymore. Just be a good mommy, get in some wifing time when you can, die with a few bucks in the bank, you'll be set.

Oh and Happy Easter everyone :)