Why Don't I Ever Learn?

That nothing is ever going to change. I married a man who can be a miserable asshole to me. That's what I should expect.

Why don't I ever learn that his declarations of love and affection are short lived and only how he wants them to be?

Why don't I ever learn that he is always going to be childish and self-centered?

Why don't I ever learn that when the going is rough, he gets going...running away from the problems, turning to a hard-shelled, spiky cocoon designed to keep me irritated and away?

Why don't I ever learn that his legacy of hypochondriac, selfish, childish family members will not die with him, nay...it lives through him?

Why don't I ever learn that NO MATTER WHAT I SAY, he will always just believe what he chooses, right or wrong?

Why don't I ever learn that he just doesn't love me any...more?

How can I learn to stop caring? To not be too proud to stay with a man just for the money? No...I'll stay with him because of my kids. I'd rather suffer than make them suffer instead.

Why didn't I learn before it was too late?