You know how you think you know but you don't know what you thought you knew?

Originally published 03/09/05

well that's how i feel today.

i spent the better part of the morning being questioned about my mothering. by whom, you ask, my very own husband. nice, eh? i was also told that i'm difficult to talk to. and that "some people may not think i'm doing such a good job." ain't that a peach. i think it's borderline humerous that the person who spends the least time with the kids has so many opinions on the whole thing. i would actually have him use a week of vacation to spend the time with the kids like i do to see my side of things. i give him three days.

let's see...what was i questioned about...oh how much time i'm on the computer, how much time the boys are without me, how much time i actually spend WITH them, why they're always in the same room (the play room...go figure...kids in a play room a good part of the day). i feel like a used up punching bag, and my eyes look like a prize fighter's after all the wasted crying. i guess he thinks this house can get cleaned while i stay in the family room with the kids. he's constantly telling me "you have a lot of help around here" as if that lessens my duties as a mother.

you know what? there's just too much to get into...i'm too emotionally worn out to do it again.

there are so many problems in our relationship, i don't know where to start. i feel like my house just went through a hurricane and i'm standing in front of all the rubble trying to decide where to start cleaning first. and i'm just too tired to bother, quite honestly.

ugh, more later.